I am beginning this blog post with an ALMOST disclaimer.
This is a poem that could almost be about my husband and I. Todd loves his electronic gadgetry, and plays with his phone a lot. He's self-employed, and sometimes doesn't know quite when to end his business day - or for that matter when to not start another business day.
As far as Todd is concerned, that's where the similarities end. He seldom texts, and never wears his Bluetooth in the house. (It stays in the car, where it belongs.) Todd does not own a Blackberry. He almost always remembers to comb his hair when he gets out of the shower, and nothing comes between him and his breakfast - especially on Saturdays. ("Family breakfast" on Saturdays is a tradition. I make pancakes or waffles or muffins or something equally yummy.)
As far as "the spouse" is concerned....hmmmm - she could be me IF Todd were silly enough to choose the mouse over the spouse on any given Saturday!
So here goes - my latest offering - penned only yesterday. (Inspired by Dr. Seuss - one of my all time favorites.)
The Mouse and the Spouse - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg
It rained, or the sun shone, he never knew which.
As soon as he woke up his fingers would twitch.
Eight hours without texting had taken their toll -
his Blackberry held him within its control.
He rushed to get showered and dressed in great haste -
his emails awaited, he'd no time to waste!
To sit and eat breakfast - a hardship - a chore!
The pull of his keyboard was hard to ignore.
So there he sat typing (Bluetooth in his ear)
when a clout on the head told him someone was near.
He looked, and he saw her, the wife of his youth -
her face wore expression of hearty reproof.
She said to him, "WHY do you spend all your days
all hooked up to gadgets in multiple ways?
It seems all you do is just sit, sit, sit, sit -
and I do NOT like it - not one little bit!
Your waistline's expanding, your skin's looking gray,
I know you may tune out each word that I say -
but gosh - you'd be fitter if you would relax -
your workload's too heavy, you're stressed to the max!
Your neck muscles bunch because you sit there bent -
you're tired, and cranky, and quite discontent.
To cellphone and ipad it seems you're a slave.
Your Blackberry lures you to earlier grave.
Your fingers - arthritic - although you're not old -
I swear by these gizmos your life is controlled!
So switch off your cellphone and Bluetooth remove -
the sun - it is shining! Get into the groove!"
He looked at his spouse and he knew she was right -
his stomach - it rumbled! His hair looked a fright!
The sun - it was shining. The sky - it was blue.
He looked at his wife and he knew what to do.
Her eyes - they were blazing! Her nostrils - they flared!
She frightened him sorely, but he knew she cared.
His blogging and tweeting would just have to wait.
He'd look to his health and he wouldn't tempt fate.
He stroked his mouse gently, and then powered down.
His wife's mouth was no longer wearing a frown.
He pulled out his earpiece with nary a tear -
his day's new agenda was perfectly clear.
A whole world awaited outside his front door!
A world full of promise was his to explore!
His emails and web casts could wait a few days
while he reconnected in multiple ways.
He'd spend time relaxing and taking his ease -
he'd bask in the sunshine and do as he pleased.
From shackles of phone and of laptop, be free!
He'd walk in the woods and he might hug a tree!
His tension dissolved as he thought these good thoughts -
his muscles, they loosened - released all their knots.
His wife stood there beaming and reached for his hand -
her plot to reform him, progressing as planned.
She knew he'd relapse when the weekend was done,
but for now he was hers; they were off to have fun.
