Kansas!
Some say, "You're not in Kansas anymore!"
But Kansas, friends, is just outside my door!
There is a cornfield two scant blocks away,
and not much further, fields of fresh mowed hay.
Today I went to see a country fair -
and petted cows and sheep while I was there.
And such pastoral visions I have seen!
I'm more "in Kansas" than I've ever been!
Sharon Flood Kasenberg, Sept.23, 2017
Fourteen months ago we threw caution to the wind and made a bold move. We left our home of thirteen years in Kitchener and moved to a very small town an hour away. We'd always enjoyed exploring the countryside on the outskirts of whatever place we lived, but when our sons were in high school a dream was born. We were getting tired of living where our taxes continued to rise as our services diminished. We hated trying to navigate a city that was perpetually under construction, but never seemed to significantly improve. My husband realized he could work from anywhere, so why not escape the city? Other than housing a son (who was attending the University of Waterloo), and having my mother in town, we had no real ties to Kitchener. We craved a change of scenery and a fresh start.
We began to relish what we dubbed our "Corn and Beans Tours"- those exploratory drives down country roads that we took whenever we had free time on our hands. I began monitoring real estate listings in small towns, trying to assess where suitable properties could be obtained for a reasonable price.
"After the boys have left, we'll do it," we told ourselves. "We'll move out of the city into some quaint little burg."
Autumn of 2015 signaled the right time to make a change. Our younger son had just married, and he and his new wife moved to Boston to attend graduate school. Our older son said he wasn't adverse to making a move with us. He'd help us settle in, and if he didn't enjoy the rural adventure he could always move back to Kitchener. An earnest search for the right property ensued. I scoured realtor.com on a daily basis. In January, we began doing drive-bys - checking out listings that looked promising. In February we found a realtor who was willing to show us properties all over a fifty or sixty mile radius.
We found our house in April, put an offer in on it in May, got our house on the market as soon as we could, sealed the deal at both ends in early July, and were moved in by the beginning of August. Our rural adventure had begun!
I love our new/old house, and the town is very friendly, but after a year of concentrating almost entirely on home improvements, I began to feel panic settling in. Most of "the big stuff" had been completed inside the house. Progress had been stop and start - which is what happens when a self-employed man is writing the cheques. Still, we'd finished most of the big projects (except for one major renovation that is about to begin). With the the house nearing a reasonable state of completion, what would I do with my time?
Our forays into rural pursuits made me acutely aware of just how inept I would be as a truly rural housewife. I don't can, preserve or make jam. (I'm not even much of a cook.) My sewing machine treats me worse than my treadmill, and I always end up swearing at it! Thus quilting and I don't seem like a very good match. I've never milked a cow. (I touched one for the first time yesterday!) I haven't driven farm machinery - or a motorcycle or ski-doo. I haven't even been a passenger on either of them in the last two in decades. I've never been terribly enamored of country music. (It's okay, but I'd rather listen to rock 'n roll - or church choirs - or soft rock...) Can I learn to fit in?
I've always enjoyed pretty solitary pursuits - I read, I write, I bake. I like to socialize, but over the past several years I found myself growing more closed off. I'd been surrounded by people who all expected me to think the way they thought - and when I began to realize I didn't, I began to withdraw. Socializing with the people I knew grew difficult and stressful. When I moved, I vowed I'd try harder to be sociable - especially around women - because frankly they are more intimidating to me than men. (I blame 29 years in a predominantly male household for that. I can speak politics, science fiction and goofball, but I'm not so great when it comes to talking female.)
Women's conversation is harder to jump into. It's more personal - and I never know how much to share. I'm out of practice when it comes to these interactions. I feel like an interloper when I try to ease myself into a group of chatting female acquaintances. Sometimes I really do feel like a fish out of water.
But - I like it here. When I go back into Kitchener-Waterloo it doesn't feel like home, just noisy and congested. Six weeks ago I visited Toronto, and one afternoon in the Eaton Center made me feel sweaty and irritated - almost claustrophobic. I wondered aloud how people could catch their breath in crowds like that all day. I missed my big old house and my little town. I longed to take a big gulp of countrified air - manure and all!
I may not be entering any home-made pickles in the county fair (yet!), but I've adapted to the pace. I love having neighbours who wave when they drive by - or call out hellos as I walk by. When we begin to pass farmers' fields on the way home, I feel air moving deep into my pinched lungs. I begin to feel relaxed. I appreciate every horse, cow and Mennonite buggy I see. These sights don't seem to be becoming mundane, so I know I'm in the right place.
Yesterday, as we drove to the spectacle of our first plowing match, my husband reached over and took my hand.
"We're not in Kansas, anymore, " he said.
I thought about all the ways our lives have changed. Our son found a full time job six weeks after we moved here. My husband became a member of the local Lion's club - which has helped us get to know some really great people. We're discovering that we each have a little country in our soul. We can groove on watching dancing tractors. I can bake a pie that could be a legitimate contender in any agricultural fair. I might still need to discover the other bakers, board game players, readers and writers in my town - but I'm betting they're out there - and I'm not going to stop looking.
I looked over at my husband and gave his hand a squeeze.
"I disagree," I answered, taking a deep breath and waving my other hand toward the towering corn stalks we drove past.
"We're more in Kansas than we've ever been."
Sunday 24 September 2017
Friday 8 September 2017
Out, Out Darn Thought! By Sharon Flood Kasenberg
Oh the Thoughts Thinkers Think!
We all have a Thinker
designed to make thoughts,
to figure out details;
connect all the dots.
Our Thinker's not perfect,
sometimes it's confused -
it holds power o'er us
that's sometimes abused.
When we feel frustration
our Thinker mouths off,
"Just look what you've done now!"
your Thinker might scoff.
"You've handled things badly,
you ought to have known!
You're awfully stupid -
your chances are blown!"
At times like that, just leave
your Thinker alone!
The darn thing's not working
when it sends you thoughts
that leave you discouraged
and tied up in knots!
Oh, the thoughts Thinker thinks,
they are not always great -
you ought to ignore some
until they abate!
When Thinker malfunctions,
just give it a whack,
and soon you will notice
good thoughts coming back!
And the good thoughts it thinks
they will fill you with zest -
you'll hit the road running,
and ace every test!
When Thinker is gracious
your life is less stressed.
When Thinker is freed up
from negative fuzz
your thoughts are inspiring -
your brain is abuzz!
You're bound to have insights!
Solutions are found!
You're filled with contentment!
Your wisdom astounds!
"Oh goodness - you're brilliant!"
your Thinker avers,
"Your logic is flawless!
Your poetry purrs!"
My Thinker is fickle -
that's what I conclude.
It flatters and flattens;
it's kind, and it's rude.
And Oh! How my thinker
controls attitude!
I'm learning to root out
my Thinker's worst thoughts -
embrace the artistry,
discard the blots.
Thoughts that my Thinker thinks
are imperfect, but still,
I'll take all the good ones
and use them - I will!
I'll share them with passion
in prose, verse and speech;
my Thinker's good thoughts might
some more Thinkers reach!
And maybe - just maybe -
a few will be taught
by a couple of thinks
that my Thinker once thought!
(Well, that's what the Thinker
of Rhyming Muse sought.)
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg, Sept. 2017
Hold that thought! Or at least - hold it if it's just another one of those mundane, "What shall I wear?" or "Goodness - it's raining again!" kind of queries or statements. A lot of the stuff that rumbles around in our noggins doesn't really need to be shared. Few of us set the world aflame with commentary on the weather. But we share trivialities with each other because it's what is easy and comfortable. Our tendency is to keep the deeper thoughts and feelings inside, where they're safe - and where they won't expose us.
I maintain that there are two kinds of thoughts that really need to be let out - and for different reasons:
Your Worst Thoughts
Sometimes we have really discouraging thoughts that want to rain all over our parade. Remember - if you think you're a drip it's probably because you're all wet! (Never get a girl named Flood started on water jokes. )
We need to pull these thoughts out of our heads before they pull us into our own personal purgatory. We might be able to verbally share them with a long suffering spouse or a trusted friend, or we might have to write them in a journal. We might have to lock ourselves in a room and let them speak their piece before we go on counterattack and stomp them dead. There is no making peace with thoughts that are looking to knock you flat. Nope - in those situations you need to be well versed in mortal combat manoeuvres. We have to rid ourselves of these thoughts, quickly and ruthlessly, or they'll drive us as crazy as the cricket in our front hall is driving my husband. (We think it's trapped in a vent.) The thing chirps endlessly - just like the negative thoughts our brains brew up on a really bad day.
Let out those soul-sucking thoughts in the most positive way you can muster. They're like vermin that get into your house - a mouse that darts out from under your couch, or a bat that suddenly swoops down your hall - total mood killers. At my last house we had mice get in a few times, and they made me question everything I thought I knew about my housecleaning habits - even though I knew they weren't coming in because my house was dirty (because it wasn't - and isn't). They simply showed up because they could - a few tiny holes in the foundation allowed them a way to infiltrate. The bat, who showed up at our current address, kept me from sleeping decently for several nights - ugh! (My attic has been declared clean by every tradesperson who's ever gone up there - and yet somehow one found a way in.) It didn't stay long because we weren't exactly welcoming. But if negativity comes knocking and we offer it a comfortable spot to roost it will stick around.
When I let my thoughts begin to drag me down, misery rapidly ensues. I know that I have to clear this thought vermin out of my head pronto, or like Lady Macbeth I'll soon be tormented beyond reach - and thus I've written a new poetic mantra:
Out - out, darn thought
depart my head!
I've better thoughts
to think instead!
Surround yourself with the kind of people who make your soul impenetrable - or will at least stick around to scare off the nasty ideas your brain dreams up - and help fill in the chinks so they don't come back!
Your Best Thoughts
Our brains are always busy, but we get to choose how they fill their days. Luckily, most brains are as capable of inspiring helpful thoughts and ideas as they are of harbouring the darker ones.
I don't think most of us are as quick to share our really positive thoughts and good ideas with the world as we should be. (There isn't enough spontaneous song and dance out there!) Most people fill their lives up with so much "busy" that their crazy, fun, imaginative and genius, groundbreaking thoughts get pushed aside - and all of those mundane musings I mentioned at the beginning of this post take over their harried heads.
Think back to your childhood. Remember how you couldn't wait to put crayons to paper and bring your wild imaginings to life? Remember how you loved telling your parents fantastical tales based on the antics of the kids at school? The responsibilities of adulthood seem to drain us of our creative juices when we need them most.
Let your best thoughts out! Write them. Speak them. Paint them. Turn them into inspiring conversations, poetry and music. Use them to solve problems - big and small. Use them to generate laughter and love. Share them - and you'll inspire others to share their best thoughts, best feelings, and best efforts with the world.
There's a lot more room in the universe for happy thoughts, infectious laughter and genuine enthusiasm. We all need more compliments, more encouragement and more opportunities to exchange ideas. The world needs more output from dreamers, inventors, artists and craftsmen.
I don't believe the best music has been written yet - and I'm certain that my best blog post is still inside me. Your best ideas probably haven't been shared. In fact, I'm betting that you've never given your best ideas the head space they deserve. Your adult self has likely squeezed them into whatever wee cranny is left over after the mundane and miserable have staked their claim on your mental real estate. That's certainly been the case with me - far, far too often.
Your best thoughts are meant to be shared. They deserve to be shared. Yes, there's always a risk that your words won't do them justice. (I know all about that...) Maybe your grand idea won't be perfectly executed and you'll be disappointed with whatever you're trying to produce. So what? One thing I'm learning more with every passing year is that other people don't have access to the perfect vision in my head, and amazingly enough, they often think that an original idea, imperfectly rendered, is pretty impressive. Tell yourself this -
Out out, great thought!
I'll share instead
of keeping you
locked in my head.
Plagued by the kind of thoughts that fill you with self doubt? Lose them.
Brimming with thoughts and ideas that might improve your world? Use them!
We all have a Thinker
designed to make thoughts,
to figure out details;
connect all the dots.
Our Thinker's not perfect,
sometimes it's confused -
it holds power o'er us
that's sometimes abused.
When we feel frustration
our Thinker mouths off,
"Just look what you've done now!"
your Thinker might scoff.
"You've handled things badly,
you ought to have known!
You're awfully stupid -
your chances are blown!"
At times like that, just leave
your Thinker alone!
The darn thing's not working
when it sends you thoughts
that leave you discouraged
and tied up in knots!
Oh, the thoughts Thinker thinks,
they are not always great -
you ought to ignore some
until they abate!
When Thinker malfunctions,
just give it a whack,
and soon you will notice
good thoughts coming back!
And the good thoughts it thinks
they will fill you with zest -
you'll hit the road running,
and ace every test!
When Thinker is gracious
your life is less stressed.
When Thinker is freed up
from negative fuzz
your thoughts are inspiring -
your brain is abuzz!
You're bound to have insights!
Solutions are found!
You're filled with contentment!
Your wisdom astounds!
"Oh goodness - you're brilliant!"
your Thinker avers,
"Your logic is flawless!
Your poetry purrs!"
My Thinker is fickle -
that's what I conclude.
It flatters and flattens;
it's kind, and it's rude.
And Oh! How my thinker
controls attitude!
I'm learning to root out
my Thinker's worst thoughts -
embrace the artistry,
discard the blots.
Thoughts that my Thinker thinks
are imperfect, but still,
I'll take all the good ones
and use them - I will!
I'll share them with passion
in prose, verse and speech;
my Thinker's good thoughts might
some more Thinkers reach!
And maybe - just maybe -
a few will be taught
by a couple of thinks
that my Thinker once thought!
(Well, that's what the Thinker
of Rhyming Muse sought.)
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg, Sept. 2017
Hold that thought! Or at least - hold it if it's just another one of those mundane, "What shall I wear?" or "Goodness - it's raining again!" kind of queries or statements. A lot of the stuff that rumbles around in our noggins doesn't really need to be shared. Few of us set the world aflame with commentary on the weather. But we share trivialities with each other because it's what is easy and comfortable. Our tendency is to keep the deeper thoughts and feelings inside, where they're safe - and where they won't expose us.
I maintain that there are two kinds of thoughts that really need to be let out - and for different reasons:
Your Worst Thoughts
Sometimes we have really discouraging thoughts that want to rain all over our parade. Remember - if you think you're a drip it's probably because you're all wet! (Never get a girl named Flood started on water jokes. )
We need to pull these thoughts out of our heads before they pull us into our own personal purgatory. We might be able to verbally share them with a long suffering spouse or a trusted friend, or we might have to write them in a journal. We might have to lock ourselves in a room and let them speak their piece before we go on counterattack and stomp them dead. There is no making peace with thoughts that are looking to knock you flat. Nope - in those situations you need to be well versed in mortal combat manoeuvres. We have to rid ourselves of these thoughts, quickly and ruthlessly, or they'll drive us as crazy as the cricket in our front hall is driving my husband. (We think it's trapped in a vent.) The thing chirps endlessly - just like the negative thoughts our brains brew up on a really bad day.
Let out those soul-sucking thoughts in the most positive way you can muster. They're like vermin that get into your house - a mouse that darts out from under your couch, or a bat that suddenly swoops down your hall - total mood killers. At my last house we had mice get in a few times, and they made me question everything I thought I knew about my housecleaning habits - even though I knew they weren't coming in because my house was dirty (because it wasn't - and isn't). They simply showed up because they could - a few tiny holes in the foundation allowed them a way to infiltrate. The bat, who showed up at our current address, kept me from sleeping decently for several nights - ugh! (My attic has been declared clean by every tradesperson who's ever gone up there - and yet somehow one found a way in.) It didn't stay long because we weren't exactly welcoming. But if negativity comes knocking and we offer it a comfortable spot to roost it will stick around.
When I let my thoughts begin to drag me down, misery rapidly ensues. I know that I have to clear this thought vermin out of my head pronto, or like Lady Macbeth I'll soon be tormented beyond reach - and thus I've written a new poetic mantra:
Out - out, darn thought
depart my head!
I've better thoughts
to think instead!
Surround yourself with the kind of people who make your soul impenetrable - or will at least stick around to scare off the nasty ideas your brain dreams up - and help fill in the chinks so they don't come back!
Your Best Thoughts
Our brains are always busy, but we get to choose how they fill their days. Luckily, most brains are as capable of inspiring helpful thoughts and ideas as they are of harbouring the darker ones.
I don't think most of us are as quick to share our really positive thoughts and good ideas with the world as we should be. (There isn't enough spontaneous song and dance out there!) Most people fill their lives up with so much "busy" that their crazy, fun, imaginative and genius, groundbreaking thoughts get pushed aside - and all of those mundane musings I mentioned at the beginning of this post take over their harried heads.
Think back to your childhood. Remember how you couldn't wait to put crayons to paper and bring your wild imaginings to life? Remember how you loved telling your parents fantastical tales based on the antics of the kids at school? The responsibilities of adulthood seem to drain us of our creative juices when we need them most.
Let your best thoughts out! Write them. Speak them. Paint them. Turn them into inspiring conversations, poetry and music. Use them to solve problems - big and small. Use them to generate laughter and love. Share them - and you'll inspire others to share their best thoughts, best feelings, and best efforts with the world.
There's a lot more room in the universe for happy thoughts, infectious laughter and genuine enthusiasm. We all need more compliments, more encouragement and more opportunities to exchange ideas. The world needs more output from dreamers, inventors, artists and craftsmen.
I don't believe the best music has been written yet - and I'm certain that my best blog post is still inside me. Your best ideas probably haven't been shared. In fact, I'm betting that you've never given your best ideas the head space they deserve. Your adult self has likely squeezed them into whatever wee cranny is left over after the mundane and miserable have staked their claim on your mental real estate. That's certainly been the case with me - far, far too often.
Your best thoughts are meant to be shared. They deserve to be shared. Yes, there's always a risk that your words won't do them justice. (I know all about that...) Maybe your grand idea won't be perfectly executed and you'll be disappointed with whatever you're trying to produce. So what? One thing I'm learning more with every passing year is that other people don't have access to the perfect vision in my head, and amazingly enough, they often think that an original idea, imperfectly rendered, is pretty impressive. Tell yourself this -
Out out, great thought!
I'll share instead
of keeping you
locked in my head.
Plagued by the kind of thoughts that fill you with self doubt? Lose them.
Brimming with thoughts and ideas that might improve your world? Use them!
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