Shadowland
Into the shadowlands I strayed -
where hope does not exist -
where into gray bright colours fade
and all joy is dismissed.
Its borders unmarked, unguarded -
crossed ere I was aware,
and optimism departed
to leave me in despair.
Departing this engulfing gloom
is not an easy chore;
all obstacles appear to loom
more threat'ning than before.
It takes a lot of time to heal
from damage to the soul
that starts when you begin to feel
the shadows take control.
There is a darkened, shady place
that lurks in many hearts
not oft' discerned behind a face
unchanged while hope departs.
Depression fills the soul with shame
until you understand
that only hope's transcendent flame
can light the Shadowland.
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg, August 2006
Hope is waning.
This is the only conclusion I can come to when I question the collective misery that seems to be spreading across the face of the planet. You can accuse me of being melodramatic if you wish, and you can tell me you feel fine about the state of the world - that's your prerogative. I simply don't feel the same, and I think I speak for a whole lot of people when I say that.
The way I see it, most of the world seems to be dysthymic at best, and rapidly headed into severe depression. We know things aren't right, and some of us have begun trying to figure out what things are amiss. Others seem unhappy, but place blame everywhere but where it belongs.
Conspiracy theories abound, and denial of real issues runs rampant.
It's hard to see clearly when you keep to the shadows, and indeed it would appear that some might prefer to live in the dark, while the rest of us scramble for candles and flashlights - anything that might shed a little light - and help us find our way out of the shadows.
The world wasn't always so dark and gloomy. It has historically gone through periods of more, and less, illumination. They didn't call one era "the Dark Ages" for nothing. Oh, I know that how dark those days were depends on what aspects of that time period - and what segments of society - you're considering, but there are some undeniably "dark" facts that greatly contributed to why those times were thus labeled.
It appears that as the Roman Empire began to collapse, those the Romans had conquered, or attempted to conquer, became increasingly determined to stomp out anything perceived as "Roman", and this included scientific advances, medical advances and the development of a legal system. The Feudal system came into full swing. Peasants did all the hard labour and saw few rewards while they were taxed at the whim of any neighbouring "Lord" who decided to invade the area. The serfs ate a very scarce diet that was nutrient poor, and drank filthy water. Most had a life expectancy of about thirty, and lived their short lives without any hope of acquiring education, or improving their lot in life in any significant way. Life for the poor was short, dismal and dangerous.
Lets talk about "hope" for a minute. As a concept, it gets a lot of bad press these days. Too often "hope" is equated with a kind of toxic optimism that can leave us all feeling worse. The message that we always need to "be positive" adds a layer of guilt to our despair - one more burden that most of us would prefer to avoid. "Hope" seems like a cheery way to turn a mountain of complicated issues into an irritating molehill that can be leveled with the back of a shovel.
I'm trying hard not to waste my own energy on capital H Hope, and instead look for a few small glimmers of positivity in a world that seems to reward negativity in all of its varied forms. In a world where Google serves us up "facts" to support our every cockamamie theory, I hope I've gained enough humility to embrace my ignorance and accept that I don't have all of the answers even part of the time. In a society where most seem to care more about looking connected than fostering genuine connections with humanity, I hope I can be brave enough to reach out to others in meaningful ways. On social media, where arguments grow increasingly anti-social and civility is scarce, I hope to be able to engage politely.
Small h hope is built when we are willing to make any small change to improve the world around us. One day, when I was feeling quite down I had a video chat with a friend, who proclaimed that I looked "fancy". When you feel dysthymic, hope comes in small packages. It might look like taking a shower and putting on a dab of make-up, even if you aren't leaving the house. It might be demonstrated by leaving the safety of your cocoon and taking a stroll - maybe even planting a smile on your face and waving at a neighbour. It might be something as small as leaving a message online, or making a telephone call to a friend.
Hope might come in small packages, but I've learned that it's hard to carry alone. When we feel stuck in the shadows we need people around us. We need friendships to sustain us, people we trust to tell us to keep moving when every step forward seems to be in slow motion. We need outlets for our unruly emotions and anxieties. We need ears to hear our complaints, and help us transform our endless carping into some kind of action. We need the empathy of peers, and the encouragement of a supportive network. We need community.
For subsistence farmers in the Dark Ages, any degree of hope was pretty well non-existent.
More recent periods in history have given rise to a predominant "middle class", and with that rise, to opportunities that favour more than just the wealthiest among us. Over the past century we've seen incredible advances in science, technology and industry. We've seen women get the right to vote, human rights activism, less bigotry, increased availability of medicine, better sanitation, better education, and more awareness of the plights suffered by the less fortunate.
We've seen enough advancement and enlightenment to give most of us cause to hope that the world was headed in a positive direction.
Many of us wonder how it all got so bad, so fast. Were we not vigilant enough? Did we grow accustomed - maybe even entitled - to the privileges we enjoy?
Sadly, ignorance and greed can halt a lot of advancement fairly quickly, even when it comes from a vocal minority screaming its denial of what most of us view as positive progress.
"Send the immigrants home!"
"I don't mind people of other races, but I don't want them in my neighbourhood..."
"Kids today are so spoiled. They deserve to be poor."
"Low income housing? Who needs it? I'm just happy I can make a killing on my house when I decide to sell!"
"Climate change? Ha, what a joke!"
"Women will let you do anything when you're rich...grab 'em...kiss 'em..."
Does any of this sound familiar?
Dictators take charge and influence the hard-hearted. If the economy seems good, their efforts are praised by those who think any penny they can save on their tax bill is more important than helping the poor, the environment or the mentally ill. The Rain Forests burn while modern day Neros fiddle. Immigrant children fill cages while the First Lady visits their compounds in a jacket emblazoned with the words, "I don't really care." What baffles me is the fact that whole groups of modern day society see no problem with any of this.
Some of us grow increasingly disheartened - hopeless at times. We thought things were looking up! We thought we had seen some proof that most people could see beyond their own noses and actually wanted a world with less economic disparity, more respect for the rights of humanity, more equality between the sexes and well... more kindness and tolerance toward all people. Not just the ones on our pay scale, or the ones who look most like us.
As someone who has battled a little dysthymia over the years, I have come to this conclusion. The flat zones - the shadows - of our emotional and mental state aren't fun. Many might go for months or years with very little variation from a baseline of "Meh". However, the darkest shades of misery often occur when one begins to see a little progress. We fall a bit harder once we've climbed a bit higher. The sad days are more challenging when we've spent some time smiling again.
If we're brave enough to climb, we need to use the buddy system....
The Climb
Making good time, close to the top
onward we climb, then - briefly stop.
Quick glance below shows progress made,
so, on we go, though steep the grade.
No guarantee that we won't fall -
what we can't see can trip us all.
If we should slide from near the top
we can't decide how hard we'll drop.
Thus we accept, when we depart,
we'll be adept - climbing's an art.
There's risk we'll fall with ev'ry climb;
consider all factors each time -
each path we choose, what's in our pack,
where time we'll lose; who has our back.
Climb with a friend, carry some rope -
hand them the end and there is hope
that if you trip close to the top
the rope they grip controls the drop.
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg, October 8, 2019
Where there are climbs, there will inevitably be falls. How much they hurt us depends on how much resilience we've built, and most of us need a bit of support if we're going to head uphill again.
Just as a fall from six steps up tends to hurt us more than a stumble on the first or second step, it is harder for us to see in the dark when we've spent some time in the sun. Our eyes search the unaccustomed shadows for a tiny glint of hope to navigate by. Our bones cries out for some sunshine, and our brains program us to feel fear and anxiety over what might be waiting to trip us up.
We are frightened and exhausted; tired of hunting for light sources in a world that seems intent on cutting the cord to every lamp we turn on.
We are confused and disheartened by those who prefer to live in the dark.
We need hope the same way a junkie craves the next fix. It is the only thing that can light up a world full of shadows.
Take my hand and we'll feel our way out of the abyss. Chances of finding that small, elusive bundle of hope are increased when we work together.
