A plea for sober second thought
is what I will attempt
in era rife with issues hot
and posts full of contempt.
Consider that your friends may think
far differently than you -
unless, of course, to raise a stink
is what you want to do!
Consider posting sources for
the "facts" that you display.
Consider people you adore
and don't want to dismay!
Just stop to think, "Is this post nice?
Am I sure I'm correct?"
New adage now - "Post once; think twice,
and try to show respect!"
It seems to me we're all on edge
and ought to show more care.
Is this post a divisive wedge,
or one I ought to share?
-by Sharon Flood Kasenberg, July 29, 2020
This is the longest hiatus I've ever taken from writing since I began this blog more than nine years ago. Never before have I struggled so much to write anything. The chaos in the world right now leaves me feeling bogged down; I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted a lot of the time - my patience is often as short as my days (and nights!) are long.
I'd love to be able to feel that looking in on social media is a pleasant break in my day - a chance to connect with friends in an otherwise disconnected world - but that hasn't been my experience. Even Facebook Messenger, which has been my primary source of genuine connection with family and friends afar, has occasionally been hijacked by those who want to spam every person on their friends list with the latest conspiracy theory they have bought into. A few others have felt a strong need to reprimand me for expressing an opinion contrary to their own. In one case, a "friend" blasted me with such unbridled vitriol that I became convinced this was an individual who never really liked me much in the first place. Needless to say, this person has been unfriended. Ironically, she accused me of "toxic negativity" in her rant, which was the very definition thereof.
Since then I have been very cautious in my interactions online. I have strong opinions about many things, and on the rare occasions when I've expressed them I've done so very gingerly, choosing both words and tone carefully. I don't like conflict, and I don't want to be someone who instigates it. I have carefully culled my Facebook friends; unfriended a few, unfollowed many, and hit "hide this post" more times than most could imagine. You are all entitled to your opinions, and I am entitled to avoid those that I find upsetting, unsettling, and generally bad for my mental health.
One friend posted a meme that said, "If you're not hearing much from me right now, take it personally." I understand the sentiment. If you speak up loudly in vocal support of orange and oily politicians, or basically any of the causes such folk espouse, I have long since stopped following your posts. If you are anti-science, anti vaccine, or convinced that Covid-19 is a hoax, I no longer expose myself to your rants.
My husband is much more diplomatic than I am. He says he feels that he needs to see "a cross-section of opposing ideas" in his feed. Here's my take - some of what I see online these days makes me feel as comfortable around you as I would be around someone who would proudly proclaim -
"I ate someone yesterday! And I'm going to eat someone else tomorrow!"
Now I know a person's dietary choices are their own business, and it's not like this person has invited me over to dine (or be dined upon!), but gosh - I just can't quite bring myself to feel comfortable around anyone who makes this particular statement. What I believe is good and "normal" feels threatened when I hear such things, and therefore, by extension, the person who made this utterance within earshot of me is now viewed as a shady character. I'm not even going to apologize for seeing it that way.
When I hear you bragging about your "right" to not wear a mask, I feel frightened for everyone who comes into contact with you. When I hear you say you won't be vaccinated when a vaccine is developed, I shake my head in disbelief. When I see posts that proclaim how ignorant you are, I just want to avoid you. I'm sorry if that makes me seem like an intolerant person in your eyes, but the one thing I have no fear of being intolerant of is the arrogance that makes some feel that they know better than the best scientists and brightest minds on the planet.
Everyone has had to make sacrifices during this pandemic. I have a son in the USA who I will probably not see for a year or more. I miss him a lot. I have former students I've hosted living in Italy and Brazil, and the way things are going I wonder sometimes if I'll ever see those kids again - if the world will ever "normalize" enough that getting on a plane to go that far will be affordable - or an option at all...
I'm sorry if you think that wearing a mask for half an hour in Walmart is the ultimate sacrifice, but to me it seems like a little thing when compared to not seeing a family member for a year or more, or, in a worst case scenario, having a family member die alone from Covid-19. If it makes you feel any better about doing it, I'll tell you that I really appreciate you wearing that mask - I'm pushing sixty and diabetic, and married to someone with severe asthma. Furthermore, I'm more than a tad claustrophobic, and yet somehow I can manage wearing a mask for an hour, as can my asthmatic spouse.
Speaking of my husband, for those of you who clamour for our politicians, on all levels, to give up their paycheques, let me say this:
Municipal politics in this country isn't exactly a big money-maker. (If you think our politicians are spoiled, read up on what politicians in Brazil are paid. It might help you appreciate Canada a bit more.) My husband calculates that for the hours he puts in these days, he makes about eight dollars an hour. Considering that contracts in his "real" job are almost all on indefinite hold, every single bit he brings in is necessary. Please, think twice before you lump all politicians into the greedy bastard category, okay?
I want you all to know this:
- I take Covid-19 seriously. I believe it's real and dangerous. If you don't, that's a problem for me, because if you don't socially distance AND wear a mask when you are near me, you put both of us at risk. My health might mean little to you, but my conscience works overtime. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's illness or death, and I genuinely believe it's possible for me to carry this virus without exhibiting any symptoms.
- I believe that even if the dangers of Covid-19 are grossly exaggerated (and I'm pretty certain they're not), it can't possibly hurt to be as cautious and considerate of each other as possible. I cringe when I see pictures of large family gatherings online, of crowded beaches and tourist attractions. I know that now we "can" meet in larger groups, but in my opinion, that doesn't mean we should. I'm happy to enjoy a socially distanced visit, but please don't be upset that I don't want to shake hands, hug you, or sit too close. I promise that it isn't personal, and I will hug you again when it is safe. For now, will you just humour me, even if you think I'm being a bit of a fanatic?
- I believe that the economy isn't nearly as important as peoples' lives, that school isn't the only place our kids can learn, that going without a pool or splash pad for a summer isn't going to seriously endanger anyone's mental health, and that we all need to "chill out" in more productive ways.
Life is short, and if times like these haven't hammered that message home then nothing will. Stay safe and be kind.
Think twice.
