Last night as I was heading off to bed I passed through my living room. The lights on my Christmas tree glowed off my hardwood floors, and I experienced a sudden surge of gratitude for my home.
"I love this house!" I said aloud, and not for the first time.
I'm ashamed to say that I didn't always feel that way. When we moved to Kitchener nine years ago we left a behind a house that oozed charm and character. It was the kind of house I always saw myself living in, whereas the house we purchased here wasn't "me" at all. (I still joke that this four level side split is very "Mike Brady", from its avocado ceramic entrance tiles to the metal railings down the staircases.) It didn't help that the previous owners had made some odd design decisions - like horrific floral embossed wallpaper and shag carpeting in shades of various bodily fluids. (And WHO, may I ask, puts a maroon carpet in a sun room?)
I viewed this house as a compromise. We could afford it, and over time make it resemble the more expensive house we'd liked better. We did make changes that improved the place considerably, but I still didn't love the house. That didn't happen until we'd been here a few years and I got news that good friends in Sudbury had their house burn to the ground days before Christmas. Suddenly the ingratitude I'd felt for my home hit me like a slap in the face. I quickly learned to appreciate what I had, and began to love my house.
Wouldn't the world be a happier, healthier place if we all could just learn to appreciate what we have, and to "love our own stuff best"? I'm not putting in a plug for crass materialism here, but appreciation for things is important. Having said that, I recognize that understanding the value of relationships is even more so. I'm happy to say that the love of my family is something I've never taken for granted.
Over the course of my life I've met a lot of wounded souls. People with sad stories to tell seem to seek me out. I've met people who have never been part of a loving family; people who have few friends and suffer from a dearth of love in their lives. I am grateful that my experience differs vastly from theirs. Every night, the last words I speak, and the last words I hear from my husband and sons are "I love you". I was thinking about that last night too, as that wave of gratitude washed over me. Then, as I brushed my teeth and washed my face I thought about how wonderful it is that I enjoy good health and can perform these little hygiene rituals for myself, unlike my wheelchair bound mother in law.
I reviewed all of my assets last night, and decided that my life was pretty amazing - happy family life, plenty of food in my fridge, good health, and even a nice house. Thankfully, somewhere along the line I've developed sufficient maturity and gratitude to appreciate all of it. May we all continue to perfect the art of gratitude over this coming year. Happy 2013 everyone!
Gratitude - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg (April '09)
At end of day we ought to be
grateful for all we've gained -
for any wisdom we accrued
from questions now explained.
Did we notice just how many
little problems were worked out -
Or pause to give thanks for new hope
when faith replaced our doubt?
If at the close of one more day
some money has been earned,
and to the shelter of our home
all safely have returned;
if bedtime finds our stomachs full,
our bodies well and strong -
If we are healthy, loved and fed
for what else could we long?
If we've been given one more day
that's free of pain and grief -
or suffered some, but through a friend
found help, comfort; relief -
then we have reason to give thanks
for many fare far worse
and unlike us don't grumble so -
complain or whine or curse.
If we don't fear the violence
of life in war-torn lands,
or live under a tyrant's rule
where poverty expands -
then perhaps we've grown complacent
about all that we've got,
and wasted too much energy
pursuing what we've not.
If we took time to really see
how richly we are blessed -
I cannot help but think there'd be
more gratitude expressed.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Friday, 21 December 2012
An Invitation to a New Beginning
Today is "supposed" to be the end of the world, according to some. For most of us, though, it has been "business as usual" with the extra tasks of preparing for Christmas thrown in for good measure. I can't say I've given the doomsayers much thought this season, in part because my mind has been too much on endings and beginnings in my own household.
My older son, Sam, completed his course in Toronto in mid-October, and now he and I are both back under the family roof full time. I am re-establishing routines that were interrupted by my frequent back and forth trips to visit him at his apartment. It's more of an adjustment for our family than most would think.
I got very used to my first thought of the day being "Which city am I in?" and then deciding from there what my daily priorities should be. It was all a very "seat of the pants" kind of lifestyle, and while I learned a lot about myself through embracing constant change, I am struggling now to get back into a familiar groove.
Todd got used to living in a very quiet household. When you conduct much of your business at the dining room table it can be challenging to go from having the house to yourself to having two, and then three extra bodies milling about, eating breakfast and lunch at all different hours and turning on the microwave when you're expecting a conference call any second.
Sam grew accustomed to navigating "the big city" and seeing new sights and talking to peers who had common interests. I know he must find "K-town" and the family pretty boring these days. He's developed a new skill set, but isn't sure how or where to use it yet.
With Dan's return to the family fold on November 27th, we all had to begin again. People change over the course of two years, and we are all getting acclimatized to being a family of four, together under one roof again.
I can only be grateful that these changes all occurred as the Christmas season was approaching - a time when the emphasis is on giving. Thus each member of the family has made the requisite sacrifices of time (to decorate the trees), of money (to dress the literally poor RM in some decent attire) and personal convenience (like relocating from the dining room when the mixer or blender are required to prepare the usual holiday goodies) without complaint. The approaching holidays have been a lovely distraction from all of our individual re-orientation struggles.
Likewise, the holidays have cushioned me from any concern about an apocalyptic end occurring today. If it were to happen, I'd fare better than I would ordinarily by sheer timing. After all, it's Christmastime, and I'm on my best behavior. I'm thinking more about the wants and needs of those around me than usual - buying gifts, sharing treats and generally being more charitable than is my norm.
It looks like we're all here for a bit longer at this point, so I propose that we look at this Christmas season as being a new beginning in our lives. Perhaps this Christmas we can somehow manage to carry more of that charitable feeling with us into the new year. Perhaps we can demonstrate the gratitude we feel for having so much in a world where so few even have enough. We can hold our children closer for those who have recently lost theirs. We can offer a smile to the disheartened and an ear to the troubled. We can try in small ways to make the world a lighter, brighter, kinder and more buoyant place.
And perhaps more than anything, we can remember the importance of beginnings, and one beginning in particular. In the absence of raining fireballs let's try to remember one significant star, and the new life that it symbolized. Merry Christmas to all of you, and may the new year bring peace and happiness.
Angelic Invitation (By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - October '06)
A new star sets the world alight illuminating earth -
A Savior has been born tonight, come celebrate His birth.
Good shepherds look ye to the sky and quake ye not in fear -
make haste to listen and draw nigh, glad tidings thou shalt hear.
Fear not the strange light ye behold - it beckons unto thee
to witness prophecies foretold, go follow it and see.
A holy child is born this night, He is the promised one -
who'll lead us into Heaven's light for He is God's own son!
Fear not to leave thy flocks behind - thy watch I'll surely keep,
while in a stable thou shalt find the tiny babe asleep.
Go bow before this king of kings, leave Him thy lambs most fair -
a gift most perfect of all things that thou dost have to share.
For someday He will shepherd all who yearn for pastures sweet -
He'll rescue mankind from the fall and sinners from defeat.
Go worship Him this holy night, bear witness to His birth -
Sing praise aloud with all thy might - God's son is born on earth!
Angelic voices, ever near, call us to join His fold
and heed the chorus, sweet and clear, they sang in times of old.
Come celebrate the holy birth of our triumphant Lord -
who brought salvation to the earth and innocence restored.
This invitation they extend to all the sons of men
'til all heads bow and all knees bend when Christ returns again.
He will lead on to victory hearts who grant Him a place -
and heed the call to come and see the wonders of His grace.
My older son, Sam, completed his course in Toronto in mid-October, and now he and I are both back under the family roof full time. I am re-establishing routines that were interrupted by my frequent back and forth trips to visit him at his apartment. It's more of an adjustment for our family than most would think.
I got very used to my first thought of the day being "Which city am I in?" and then deciding from there what my daily priorities should be. It was all a very "seat of the pants" kind of lifestyle, and while I learned a lot about myself through embracing constant change, I am struggling now to get back into a familiar groove.
Todd got used to living in a very quiet household. When you conduct much of your business at the dining room table it can be challenging to go from having the house to yourself to having two, and then three extra bodies milling about, eating breakfast and lunch at all different hours and turning on the microwave when you're expecting a conference call any second.
Sam grew accustomed to navigating "the big city" and seeing new sights and talking to peers who had common interests. I know he must find "K-town" and the family pretty boring these days. He's developed a new skill set, but isn't sure how or where to use it yet.
With Dan's return to the family fold on November 27th, we all had to begin again. People change over the course of two years, and we are all getting acclimatized to being a family of four, together under one roof again.
I can only be grateful that these changes all occurred as the Christmas season was approaching - a time when the emphasis is on giving. Thus each member of the family has made the requisite sacrifices of time (to decorate the trees), of money (to dress the literally poor RM in some decent attire) and personal convenience (like relocating from the dining room when the mixer or blender are required to prepare the usual holiday goodies) without complaint. The approaching holidays have been a lovely distraction from all of our individual re-orientation struggles.
Likewise, the holidays have cushioned me from any concern about an apocalyptic end occurring today. If it were to happen, I'd fare better than I would ordinarily by sheer timing. After all, it's Christmastime, and I'm on my best behavior. I'm thinking more about the wants and needs of those around me than usual - buying gifts, sharing treats and generally being more charitable than is my norm.
It looks like we're all here for a bit longer at this point, so I propose that we look at this Christmas season as being a new beginning in our lives. Perhaps this Christmas we can somehow manage to carry more of that charitable feeling with us into the new year. Perhaps we can demonstrate the gratitude we feel for having so much in a world where so few even have enough. We can hold our children closer for those who have recently lost theirs. We can offer a smile to the disheartened and an ear to the troubled. We can try in small ways to make the world a lighter, brighter, kinder and more buoyant place.
And perhaps more than anything, we can remember the importance of beginnings, and one beginning in particular. In the absence of raining fireballs let's try to remember one significant star, and the new life that it symbolized. Merry Christmas to all of you, and may the new year bring peace and happiness.
Angelic Invitation (By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - October '06)
A new star sets the world alight illuminating earth -
A Savior has been born tonight, come celebrate His birth.
Good shepherds look ye to the sky and quake ye not in fear -
make haste to listen and draw nigh, glad tidings thou shalt hear.
Fear not the strange light ye behold - it beckons unto thee
to witness prophecies foretold, go follow it and see.
A holy child is born this night, He is the promised one -
who'll lead us into Heaven's light for He is God's own son!
Fear not to leave thy flocks behind - thy watch I'll surely keep,
while in a stable thou shalt find the tiny babe asleep.
Go bow before this king of kings, leave Him thy lambs most fair -
a gift most perfect of all things that thou dost have to share.
For someday He will shepherd all who yearn for pastures sweet -
He'll rescue mankind from the fall and sinners from defeat.
Go worship Him this holy night, bear witness to His birth -
Sing praise aloud with all thy might - God's son is born on earth!
Angelic voices, ever near, call us to join His fold
and heed the chorus, sweet and clear, they sang in times of old.
Come celebrate the holy birth of our triumphant Lord -
who brought salvation to the earth and innocence restored.
This invitation they extend to all the sons of men
'til all heads bow and all knees bend when Christ returns again.
He will lead on to victory hearts who grant Him a place -
and heed the call to come and see the wonders of His grace.
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