Last night as I was heading off to bed I passed through my living room. The lights on my Christmas tree glowed off my hardwood floors, and I experienced a sudden surge of gratitude for my home.
"I love this house!" I said aloud, and not for the first time.
I'm ashamed to say that I didn't always feel that way. When we moved to Kitchener nine years ago we left a behind a house that oozed charm and character. It was the kind of house I always saw myself living in, whereas the house we purchased here wasn't "me" at all. (I still joke that this four level side split is very "Mike Brady", from its avocado ceramic entrance tiles to the metal railings down the staircases.) It didn't help that the previous owners had made some odd design decisions - like horrific floral embossed wallpaper and shag carpeting in shades of various bodily fluids. (And WHO, may I ask, puts a maroon carpet in a sun room?)
I viewed this house as a compromise. We could afford it, and over time make it resemble the more expensive house we'd liked better. We did make changes that improved the place considerably, but I still didn't love the house. That didn't happen until we'd been here a few years and I got news that good friends in Sudbury had their house burn to the ground days before Christmas. Suddenly the ingratitude I'd felt for my home hit me like a slap in the face. I quickly learned to appreciate what I had, and began to love my house.
Wouldn't the world be a happier, healthier place if we all could just learn to appreciate what we have, and to "love our own stuff best"? I'm not putting in a plug for crass materialism here, but appreciation for things is important. Having said that, I recognize that understanding the value of relationships is even more so. I'm happy to say that the love of my family is something I've never taken for granted.
Over the course of my life I've met a lot of wounded souls. People with sad stories to tell seem to seek me out. I've met people who have never been part of a loving family; people who have few friends and suffer from a dearth of love in their lives. I am grateful that my experience differs vastly from theirs. Every night, the last words I speak, and the last words I hear from my husband and sons are "I love you". I was thinking about that last night too, as that wave of gratitude washed over me. Then, as I brushed my teeth and washed my face I thought about how wonderful it is that I enjoy good health and can perform these little hygiene rituals for myself, unlike my wheelchair bound mother in law.
I reviewed all of my assets last night, and decided that my life was pretty amazing - happy family life, plenty of food in my fridge, good health, and even a nice house. Thankfully, somewhere along the line I've developed sufficient maturity and gratitude to appreciate all of it. May we all continue to perfect the art of gratitude over this coming year. Happy 2013 everyone!
Gratitude - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg (April '09)
At end of day we ought to be
grateful for all we've gained -
for any wisdom we accrued
from questions now explained.
Did we notice just how many
little problems were worked out -
Or pause to give thanks for new hope
when faith replaced our doubt?
If at the close of one more day
some money has been earned,
and to the shelter of our home
all safely have returned;
if bedtime finds our stomachs full,
our bodies well and strong -
If we are healthy, loved and fed
for what else could we long?
If we've been given one more day
that's free of pain and grief -
or suffered some, but through a friend
found help, comfort; relief -
then we have reason to give thanks
for many fare far worse
and unlike us don't grumble so -
complain or whine or curse.
If we don't fear the violence
of life in war-torn lands,
or live under a tyrant's rule
where poverty expands -
then perhaps we've grown complacent
about all that we've got,
and wasted too much energy
pursuing what we've not.
If we took time to really see
how richly we are blessed -
I cannot help but think there'd be
more gratitude expressed.
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