When we moved into this house almost ten years ago I found myself excited about a yard, for the first time ever. Our house sits on a circle, and our backyard is shallow but wide. The yard slopes to the rear, and so we have twelve foot ceilings in the basement and full walk outs from the basement into a strange little walled patio area with a corner fireplace. All along the back fence were perennial beds, and placed at the center point of the back fence was a fountain. Sounds nice, right? It looked nice too, but the first spring we lived here it became obvious that this yard had its deficiencies. The fireplace area was a bit crumbly and probably not safe to use, although it still looked nice. The fountain didn't work. The perennials spread like weeds, and the WEEDS really spread like weeds.
For eight years I added plants and moved plants and thinned out plants. And I weeded - endlessly. Some years it looked pretty nice out there, but other years I chose plants that didn't work, or I didn't water enough or the weeds just grew faster than I could pull them up. Last year the yard looked dismal. I was in and out of town all summer long and Todd was too busy to pull weeds. We had a serious summer drought, and the lawn and the plants all turned brown. Only the cinch bugs and the weeds flourished. We decided it was time to take action and reconfigure the backyard completely - less lawn, more plants (and plants of our choosing!), and to our way of thinking less watering and weeding.
The new yard is spectacular, but we're learning that it is as much work as it ever was. In fact, I think it's more work. I've never weeded as much in my life as I have this past month. We have bylaws in this town, and the landscapers couldn't spray before they laid down all that fresh sod and mulch, so anything with roots deeper than the six or eight inches they removed when they dug up the old lawn and beds remained. We see fewer dandelions and prickly things, but somewhere along the line someone planted some sort of Morning Glory-type plant that creeps along underground (from roots somewhere in China) and sends out shoots all over the fresh new sod and up through mulch that is a foot deep in places. The tenacity of this stuff astounds me. I routinely spend an hour out there yanking up every bit that I see, only to go outside the next day to find fresh vines of four or five inches. I pull every bit in sight, and when I get up to go inside I find more. I could almost swear it grows before my eyes, and that if I left it alone it would bury everything within a week!
Today while I was weeding I thought about weeds, and how they relate to life.
First of all, remember how Todd and I had dreams of less work in the new yard? The truth is, I'm not good at doing nothing - especially when I'm outdoors. So while I may like the idea of lazing in our lovely yard, I can't sit for more than fifteen minutes without wanting to jump up and yank up a few weeds or deadhead my spent flowers. I like knowing that I'm keeping the garden beautiful. We may dream of weed-free gardens and trouble-free lives, but those "weeds" and trials give us purpose. We may enjoy our leisure, but we need to feel useful.
Then, there's the way that "weeds" are so often a metaphor for things we don't want in our lives. They are the bad habits that seem so deeply rooted that they seem to grow back faster for all of our efforts to uproot them. They are like the negative relationships in our lives that we have trouble extricating ourselves from, and like the negative messages we hear and heed daily - even though they choke our growth as surely as that "mourning inglorious" stuff is choking the roots of my lavender.
Without a doubt, many of us seem to spend a disproportionate amount of our lives "weeding" - and sadly it is a necessity. It is unfair that the talents we have and the positive traits we'd like to nurture require so much effort to establish "roots", while those negative traits and influences in our lives live on no matter how often we douse them in vinegar (like those ever-present weeds in the lawn) - but it's a sad reality that we all need to live with. The "garden of life" requires constant weeding and watering to bear fruit.
Still, if we look at weeds in terms of their sheer stubborn "sticktoitiveness" we have to afford them some grudging admiration. If I was more "weed-like" I certainly would have more accomplishments and skills to my credit. I mean, those weeds just plain don't listen when I tell them where they shouldn't grow! If my talents were anything like that persistent they'd thrive no matter how much discouragement they felt.
Thus, in this post I pay homage to the lowly weed - bane of my existence, but still to be admired.
Behold the Weed! (By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - June 2, 2007)
A weed's a plant that grows where it should not,
and uninvited, propagates - a lot!
It roots itself with great tenacity -
determined to stay where it shouldn't be.
But what is planted, on the other hand,
puts rather timid roots into the land -
and although chosen for a certain spot,
is temperamental and seems prone to rot.
Thus I have come to grudgingly admire
a myriad of plants I don't desire.
They're certainly unwanted, but hold fast -
and seed themselves so they'll forever last.
It seems our good intentions would succeed -
if we were as committed as the weed!
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
How Do I Loathe Thee, Virgin Mobile? (Let Me Count the Ways!) - By Sharon Flood Kasenberg
Usually in my blog posts I try to leave my readers with a positive message. Today, in spite of my ranting I will tell you one positive thing, which is that I am positive that I've received pretty miserable service from Virgin Mobile. I'm also positive that some of their corporate practices don't meet the standards of a mature and discriminating customer. Having given two positive messages for those reading to take to heart, I'm now going to tell you about the negative experiences I've endured as a virgin customer.
I know I didn't capitalize "virgin", and that's because right off the bat I want to make the admission that I'm new to this whole cell phone thing. About a year and a half ago I finally broke down and bought my first. I was spending a lot of time out of town at that point, and going mobile seemed like a necessary evil if I wanted to stay in regular contact with my husband (which I did).
My cell phone doesn't get used a lot anymore - maybe once a week. Less than a dozen people have my number. I don't use it as a camera, or to surf the net, and I don't text. I got the most basic, pared down plan out there - supposedly less than $40.00/month. Which brings me to my first complaint.
1) Why is my bill always so high? For a while it was high because when I bought a replacement phone the guy in the Virgin booth assured me he'd cancel my former phone plan, but he apparently didn't. That accounts for FOUR months of obscenely high bills, but not the ones that have arrived since my husband and I BOTH gave them a reaming out that should've made their ears bleed. Still, I'd love to hear why after missing a payment (or even TWO) my bill at the end of May was supposedly more than $150.00 and this latest bill is more than $90.00. Frankly, it just doesn't add up. Then, (of course) there is the way they nag you about paying bills. What ever happened to the good old days when a bill arrived in the mail and you had a month to pay it? Here's an example of the impatience of these collectors. I got a bill while my internet was down - (I think it was dated the 6th) - and on the 8th I got a call asking where my payment was! But that wasn't all, and I'll get to the rest of that conversation later...
2) Why do I hear from Virgin Mobile so often? Every time I use my cell phone I have fresh messages and texts on my phone. (These texts don't ever get picked up. I don't text, remember? It's not part of my plan, and I feel no need to listen to any more advertising propaganda than I'm already subjected to.) As for the phone messages, Virgin is ONLY my cell phone carrier - not my husband, child, mother or best friend. While I can't speak for the rest of the world, I can say, from the bottom of my heart, that I just plain don't want constant interaction with my cell phone carrier. And ahh - what a "treat" those interactions are, a sentiment I will expound upon in my next several points:
3) I understand that Richard Branson (like so many other billionaires out there) seems to think that it's a necessity to outsource work to Asia rather than employ North Americans. (That's a whole other rant that I won't go into now.) What bothers me is that these people don't know how to communicate effectively in English, which as far as I know is still the primary language of commerce on this continent. I shouldn't have to repeat (or to ask "service" people to repeat) things a half dozen times before we (sort of) understand each other. I know my last name may be difficult for foreign tongues, but my first name is pretty straight forward. Something close would be nice.
4) Likewise, it would be nice if these "service" people understood North American culture, even slightly. For example, the polite way to begin a conversation is with the word hello. If you want to formally address a married woman you call her Mrs something, in my case Mrs. Kasenberg. If you're in doubt about a woman's marital status use Ms (pronounced Mizz) or use her first name. When you call me Miss Sharon, my memory hearkens waaay back to the days of Gunsmoke, and "Miss Kitty" (who likely wasn't virginal). I'm not a saloon girl, I'm a domestic goddess!
5) Professional behavior doesn't entail the use of the opening phrase "Hey there!" in an exaggerated Aussie drawl by a perky "valley girl" wannabe. Some of us remember when Moon Unit Zappa began that whole shtick in the early 80's. Even when it was "new and fresh" it got irritating fast. Forget trying to be "hip" and just aim for polite and professional.
6) Why does Virgin keep nagging me after my bill is paid? They claim to have no record of payment, but if 48 hours after the thing has been paid they either don't have the payment recorded, or their people can't manage to access that information than they've reached a whole new sub-standard.
7) What's with the long pause full of dead air when I answer my phone? I say hello and give it ten seconds, and any caller who can't reply in that space of time is history - period.
8) What makes Virgin Mobile think I should "hold" for them when they called me? I'm used to the endless waits when I need to call them, but it's just not going to fly when they call my house, or my cell and expect me to "hold" - especially when they can't even bother to identify themselves first.
9) (This one really sticks in my craw.) Why, when they call to nag me less than 36 hours after they send the bill, do they have the gall to ask me how I intend to pay? I'll pay however I choose to pay, and they should jolly well be grateful to get paid at all when by my calculations they've over charged me by about six months worth of fees. Next time they ask that question I'll give this answer:
"I intend to pay you by pony express, and in nickels. I'm strapping the saddle bags onto Petunia as we speak! (Giddy-up, girl!) You should get your payment in three or four weeks. Have a nice day!"
10) Finally, that name really bothers me. A name like "Virgin" just doesn't suit a company that spends so much time in solicitation and is greedy and sloppy to boot. I'm fed up with dealing with you, Ricky. I'm off to find a better plan, something less expensive for the occasional user. I still hold out hope that better customer service isn't just a pipe dream these days.
Thus ends the prosaic part of this post, but I wouldn't be The Rhyming Muse if I didn't leave you a poetic offering, so here goes:
How Do I Loathe Thee, Virgin Mobile? (Let Me Count the Ways!)
In spite of what you claim to be,
I question your "virginity" -
solicitations never end,
you're driving me around the bend!
A dozen texts you leave for me,
and on my plan texts are NOT free.
As for the messages you leave,
(almost daily, I believe)
I truly wish that you would chill -
your frequency is overkill.
You're not my spouse or my best friend,
but all those messages you send
from Aussie with annoying voice
(not vocal "talent" of my choice) -
"Hey There!" not what I like to hear
when I put telephone to ear.
A greeting somewhat more refined
is preferable, to my mind.
And for the record (so you know)
the proper greeting is "Hello"
and it seems strange you must be told
when YOU call ME I will not "hold"!
I don't respond well to dead air -
ten seconds pass...guess no one's there -
and so hang up is what I do,
it might sound crazy, but it's true.
As for my name, it would suffice
if you came close just once or twice -
so call me "Sharon" if you must,
but this Miss Sharon won't, I trust
be anymore address to me -
it irritates me thoroughly.
But not as much as how you bill -
your lack of patience makes me ill.
The bill is sent to my email,
and very shortly, without fail
you call to say I'm overdue -
which doesn't sound exactly true.
But then again, when you owe me -
like for the month or two or THREE
I paid account you said was closed
no restitution was proposed.
Yet some of us have honour still -
I said I'd pay you and I will.
I'll pay you like I always do
and pray that soon we will be through.
You see, I seek a better plan -
It's obvious I'm not a fan.
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - July 9, 2013
I know I didn't capitalize "virgin", and that's because right off the bat I want to make the admission that I'm new to this whole cell phone thing. About a year and a half ago I finally broke down and bought my first. I was spending a lot of time out of town at that point, and going mobile seemed like a necessary evil if I wanted to stay in regular contact with my husband (which I did).
My cell phone doesn't get used a lot anymore - maybe once a week. Less than a dozen people have my number. I don't use it as a camera, or to surf the net, and I don't text. I got the most basic, pared down plan out there - supposedly less than $40.00/month. Which brings me to my first complaint.
1) Why is my bill always so high? For a while it was high because when I bought a replacement phone the guy in the Virgin booth assured me he'd cancel my former phone plan, but he apparently didn't. That accounts for FOUR months of obscenely high bills, but not the ones that have arrived since my husband and I BOTH gave them a reaming out that should've made their ears bleed. Still, I'd love to hear why after missing a payment (or even TWO) my bill at the end of May was supposedly more than $150.00 and this latest bill is more than $90.00. Frankly, it just doesn't add up. Then, (of course) there is the way they nag you about paying bills. What ever happened to the good old days when a bill arrived in the mail and you had a month to pay it? Here's an example of the impatience of these collectors. I got a bill while my internet was down - (I think it was dated the 6th) - and on the 8th I got a call asking where my payment was! But that wasn't all, and I'll get to the rest of that conversation later...
2) Why do I hear from Virgin Mobile so often? Every time I use my cell phone I have fresh messages and texts on my phone. (These texts don't ever get picked up. I don't text, remember? It's not part of my plan, and I feel no need to listen to any more advertising propaganda than I'm already subjected to.) As for the phone messages, Virgin is ONLY my cell phone carrier - not my husband, child, mother or best friend. While I can't speak for the rest of the world, I can say, from the bottom of my heart, that I just plain don't want constant interaction with my cell phone carrier. And ahh - what a "treat" those interactions are, a sentiment I will expound upon in my next several points:
3) I understand that Richard Branson (like so many other billionaires out there) seems to think that it's a necessity to outsource work to Asia rather than employ North Americans. (That's a whole other rant that I won't go into now.) What bothers me is that these people don't know how to communicate effectively in English, which as far as I know is still the primary language of commerce on this continent. I shouldn't have to repeat (or to ask "service" people to repeat) things a half dozen times before we (sort of) understand each other. I know my last name may be difficult for foreign tongues, but my first name is pretty straight forward. Something close would be nice.
4) Likewise, it would be nice if these "service" people understood North American culture, even slightly. For example, the polite way to begin a conversation is with the word hello. If you want to formally address a married woman you call her Mrs something, in my case Mrs. Kasenberg. If you're in doubt about a woman's marital status use Ms (pronounced Mizz) or use her first name. When you call me Miss Sharon, my memory hearkens waaay back to the days of Gunsmoke, and "Miss Kitty" (who likely wasn't virginal). I'm not a saloon girl, I'm a domestic goddess!
5) Professional behavior doesn't entail the use of the opening phrase "Hey there!" in an exaggerated Aussie drawl by a perky "valley girl" wannabe. Some of us remember when Moon Unit Zappa began that whole shtick in the early 80's. Even when it was "new and fresh" it got irritating fast. Forget trying to be "hip" and just aim for polite and professional.
6) Why does Virgin keep nagging me after my bill is paid? They claim to have no record of payment, but if 48 hours after the thing has been paid they either don't have the payment recorded, or their people can't manage to access that information than they've reached a whole new sub-standard.
7) What's with the long pause full of dead air when I answer my phone? I say hello and give it ten seconds, and any caller who can't reply in that space of time is history - period.
8) What makes Virgin Mobile think I should "hold" for them when they called me? I'm used to the endless waits when I need to call them, but it's just not going to fly when they call my house, or my cell and expect me to "hold" - especially when they can't even bother to identify themselves first.
9) (This one really sticks in my craw.) Why, when they call to nag me less than 36 hours after they send the bill, do they have the gall to ask me how I intend to pay? I'll pay however I choose to pay, and they should jolly well be grateful to get paid at all when by my calculations they've over charged me by about six months worth of fees. Next time they ask that question I'll give this answer:
"I intend to pay you by pony express, and in nickels. I'm strapping the saddle bags onto Petunia as we speak! (Giddy-up, girl!) You should get your payment in three or four weeks. Have a nice day!"
10) Finally, that name really bothers me. A name like "Virgin" just doesn't suit a company that spends so much time in solicitation and is greedy and sloppy to boot. I'm fed up with dealing with you, Ricky. I'm off to find a better plan, something less expensive for the occasional user. I still hold out hope that better customer service isn't just a pipe dream these days.
Thus ends the prosaic part of this post, but I wouldn't be The Rhyming Muse if I didn't leave you a poetic offering, so here goes:
How Do I Loathe Thee, Virgin Mobile? (Let Me Count the Ways!)
In spite of what you claim to be,
I question your "virginity" -
solicitations never end,
you're driving me around the bend!
A dozen texts you leave for me,
and on my plan texts are NOT free.
As for the messages you leave,
(almost daily, I believe)
I truly wish that you would chill -
your frequency is overkill.
You're not my spouse or my best friend,
but all those messages you send
from Aussie with annoying voice
(not vocal "talent" of my choice) -
"Hey There!" not what I like to hear
when I put telephone to ear.
A greeting somewhat more refined
is preferable, to my mind.
And for the record (so you know)
the proper greeting is "Hello"
and it seems strange you must be told
when YOU call ME I will not "hold"!
I don't respond well to dead air -
ten seconds pass...guess no one's there -
and so hang up is what I do,
it might sound crazy, but it's true.
As for my name, it would suffice
if you came close just once or twice -
so call me "Sharon" if you must,
but this Miss Sharon won't, I trust
be anymore address to me -
it irritates me thoroughly.
But not as much as how you bill -
your lack of patience makes me ill.
The bill is sent to my email,
and very shortly, without fail
you call to say I'm overdue -
which doesn't sound exactly true.
But then again, when you owe me -
like for the month or two or THREE
I paid account you said was closed
no restitution was proposed.
Yet some of us have honour still -
I said I'd pay you and I will.
I'll pay you like I always do
and pray that soon we will be through.
You see, I seek a better plan -
It's obvious I'm not a fan.
By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - July 9, 2013
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