I have always loved Christmas, but I find that as I age the yuletide season becomes more bittersweet. With every passing year I become increasingly aware of how much more I have than many around me. Not too long ago a small donation or two to the Salvation Army's kettle was enough to assuage my pangs of social conscience. I was giving, right? Wasn't that enough?
The uncomfortable fact that my small cash donations are definitely not enough can no longer be denied. I need to step up to the plate and make some changes. I need to think less and do more. That doesn't mean I'll be offering the entire contents of my piggy bank to a worthwhile charity. I know that I need to give a whole lot more than money.
Christmas is a season of joy - a season of love and giving. Nothing satisfies me more than the feeling that I'm making the people I love happy. That's why I go into my annual baking frenzy. I love sharing my treats with any appreciative audience. A tin of goodies from my kitchen is a gift from my heart, and for my heart. A smile of genuine appreciation makes my day - a smack of the lips and I'm euphoric. Like far too many people in the world I'm a praise junkie in search of a fix.
As I've become more aware of my own need for positive feedback I've begun to look for opportunities to give compliments to others. I'm beginning to understand that giving praise is as rewarding as receiving it. It feels good to see people stand taller when their talents are acknowledged.
Like many I tend to think that giving means spending money, but the best gifts to give are those that have little (if any) monetary value. What does it cost me to share a plate of brownies? I can afford a few baking ingredients and the forty minutes it takes from the time I grab the recipe 'til the pan gets pulled from the oven. Compliments are free, so they fit nicely into my budget.
If I want to know what else to give, perhaps I should examine what things I really want.
My deepest desires can be fulfilled without any cash transactions occurring. (I think that's true for most of us.) I want acceptance. I want appreciation. I want to enjoy strong friendships and that feeling of connection that only comes from spending time with people I enjoy. I want to feel that I'm part of a supportive community - surrounded by people who will help if and when I need their assistance. I want to feel needed. I want smiles and hugs daily. I want to hear words like "thank you" and "I love you" and "I'm sorry". I want fun, and I want challenge. I want to feel the satisfaction that comes from making my best effort.
I want the very things that I've sometimes been reluctant to give. In one of my favorite Christmas carols, ("In the Bleak Midwinter"), a question is posed, and then answered.
"What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would give a lamb.
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part.
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart."
What we each need to do is concentrate on giving our heart. This requires true sacrifice as we refuse to skimp on gifts that cost more in terms of time and effort than money. I've struggled for days to come up with a poem on this theme, and here it is.
Small Change (By Sharon Flood Kasenberg - December 18, 2013)
This season so joyful can also be bleak
for souls who are lonely or needy or weak.
Aware of the many whose lives are far worse,
I pause near a kettle and fish in my purse.
My coins clatter loudly, I wish I'd shared more -
the fact that pot's empty is hard to ignore.
'Neath din of the shoppers I know it seems strange
that my ears are filled with the sound of small change.
The bell-ringer thanks me - says, "Have a great day!"
And heavy in heart I start walking away.
My pondering mind is now vexed by this thought -
I ought to be filling mankind's empty pot.
I know that just giving my wallet's scant bills
cannot be sufficient to cure the world's ills.
My disordered thoughts I begin to arrange;
humanity needs so much more than spare change!
The homeless need shelter, the hungry need food,
and I, (so complacent!) need new attitude.
The lonely need friendship; a hug or a smile -
or someone to sit down and visit a while.
Small deeds make a difference in everyone's life.
It lies in my power to lessen some strife.
Through kindnesses daily there's much I can give
if I make a small change each day that I live.
This season of good will I vow that I'll start
to give more than small change in gifts from the heart.
May each one of you enjoy giving and receiving those gifts that cost little and mean most.
Merry Christmas!
Love, Sharon
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