Battlecry! By Sharon Flood Kasenberg

Battlecry!

I am in a war enlisted,
fighting battles in the world;
on my quest for peace and freedom
banner has now been unfurled.
I will not be the oppressor
of the innocent or meek,
but crusader in each battle
to protect those who are weak.
I wear only issued armour -
thus, with gratitude, I state
that my wounds are superficial
in this war on fear and hate.
So what spurs me on in battle
also fills me with great shame -
there are far too many victims
who will never say the same.
Every weapon that I carry
has been openly revealed -
only through love, freely offered,
may our world someday be healed.
Armed with tolerance and kindness
in the trenches I'll fight on,
urging all to join this battle
until enmity is gone.

Sharon Flood Kasenberg, November 9, 2017

The world we live in has grown increasingly polarized. We divide ourselves into tribes based on political beliefs, opinions and ideologies. We are "Us", and all others are "Them". We don't stop to dwell on the similarities that exist between us - like the fact that we're all human beings. We forget that "They" have hearts too, and love their families just as we do. We don't want to stop to consider how "They" have been molded by the events in their lives, and how their experiences led them to hold opposing points of view. We don't really want to understand why they see the world as they do - we'd rather block "them" out, shut "them" down, or help "them" see the error of "their" ways.

We are arrogant - our desire to be right too often eclipses our desire to live in harmony with each other. And when we have the convenience of a "tribe" surrounding us who share our convictions, the notion that we might need to communicate with those who feel differently is apt to fly right out the window.

I'm not going to say that all arrogance is born of superiority. There are plenty of "humbly arrogant" souls out there too. These are the people who grow arrogant through fear, ignorance and laziness. Some of these people don't want to see the humanity in those outside their chosen tribe - because if they could, they might find bonds of commonality. And when we can relate to the "other" it becomes too difficult to ignore them. And if we pay attention to their lives, thoughts, or words, we might lose some of our certainty - and that's a frightening concept. Others are just too ignorant or lazy to learn anything about "the other side". My sister once had a sign that she hung on our bedroom wall. It said:

My mind is made up. Don't confuse me with facts.

I thought it was funny at the time, but now I find it is nothing but a sad commentary on the way most people feel.

Truthfully, the only facts most of us want to find are those that reinforce our own stance, and we live in a world where Google can speedily serve them up to us. This confirmation bias helps us dig in our heels - I'm right, you're wrong - end of discussion - usually before it has even started.

I grew up in a religion, and was devout for fifty years. My church was my "tribe". When I left, a few friends suddenly stopped communicating with me. I had strained relationships with some family members. It hurt - a lot. Those who were quick to write me off didn't bother to ask me why I felt the way I did. Some were afraid I'd try to sway their own beliefs. (For the record, I wouldn't. We do NOT need to agree on religious ideologies to care about each other.) What bothers me most about this distancing is the niggling feeling I have that they're more comfortable making assumptions about my change of heart than actually knowing my reasons, or hearing my story. If we talked, they might realize that I haven't changed - they'd still find the same old things about me to like and dislike. They'd still see that we share common interests; that we're still more alike than they're comfortable acknowledging.

But there are those who don't feel they can be close to anyone who swears allegiance to another tribe - or simply leaves the one they were enured in. Anyone who doesn't go to their church, or vote for the same party, or support the same causes, or... has to be suspect. Family members, people we once called friends, neighbours - all become classified as "them" - the outsider who feels differently, thinks differently, lives differently. You get the picture. I get it too, because I've been there - suspicious of people who embrace beliefs that I just cannot fathom. I'll even admit that sometimes I'm still there - blinded to another person's goodness simply because I can't seem to see the world the same way. Sometimes trying to empathize seems so daunting.

Fortunately, we all meet people who rebel against this tribal mentality. People who mean it when they say that whatever you do, think or feel, I will still love you. Friends who make it plain that they don't care whether your political views align. Family members who affirm that family will always come first with them - they will never shun you - ever.

My daughter-in-law is one of the most diplomatic souls I've ever met. On a vacation together last winter, she showed me a wonderful example of trying to see the opposing point of view. The five of us went to Florida to visit my father-in-law. Trump (who none of my clan have any admiration for) had just been elected, and we were about to meet up with a whole lot of people who helped vote him in. We cautioned our sons to NOT talk politics with Grandpa...and then he brought the subject up. I tried not to engage - I was a guest in his home and didn't want to cause offense. (I really like my father-in-law.) My husband engaged very cautiously. My sons (bless them!) did their best to not look too dismayed or disgruntled. And then my daughter-in-law spoke up. She simply said she didn't like Trump, or vote for him, but she sincerely wanted to know why he voted the way he did. A very respectful discussion ensued. Nobody came away with a different point of view, but we all listened to each other because she set the tone with an honest, polite inquiry.

We need more of that kind of interaction in our troubled world - more respectful "why" and "how". More listening. More seeing each other as a whole bunch of imperfect people, finding different solutions and coming to different conclusions. We need to care enough about others to ask questions, even when the answers we're sure to get won't satisfy us. Our opinions may not be changed through these exchanges - but we can halt anger and enmity over differing opinions and choices spilling over onto the individual concerned. We can agree to disagree, and in doing so remain a "we", not an "us" and "them".

Even when our minds are made up we can build unity by hearing another person's point of view - their "facts".

What matters is that we were open to dialogue. We sat down as friends, family members or opposing parties and we talked and listened.

If we can love each other enough to do that, we just might eventually manage to unify as a common tribe:
Humanity.