This poem is very close to my heart. It's about the unconditional love that mothers have for their children.
I have a confession to make. In my youth I seldom thought about having children. They were just part of some package deal - you got married; you had kids. When I was expecting my older son I was filled with fear and self doubt. Motherhood seemed like a huge looming responsibility, and it frightened me. My pregnancy was difficult, and my son was born five weeks early. As a first time mother I felt overwhelmed at times, but for the most part I was simply filled with awe. I'd look down at his little face in amazement - my son!
Soon (too soon!) I was expecting another child. I was healthy as a horse (and as big as one!) the second time around, but filled with anxiety and more self-doubt. How would I juggle the needs of two babies? (My sons were born less than 13 months apart.) Sam was a very busy toddler - barely walking, very demanding...I was a bit resentful over the "bad-timing" of my second child. I remember worrying that I might not love "the baby" as much as I loved Sam.
Dan was born two days past his due-date. I told everyone at the end of my pregnancy that I just wanted the baby OUT so I could hand it to someone else. But as soon as Dan was born, I was smitten. After a long labour I was exhausted, but when I tried to sleep I couldn't - until he was nestled in the crook of my arm.
My sons are grown now. Dan is on a mission for his Church, and has been away from home for six months. I miss him every day. Maybe I was an over-protective mom, too clingy and hovering... Certainly I've learned that I need my sons as much as they've ever needed me. When they were teenagers I would stand and look at their sprawled forms before I roused them from sleep, and I'd still be amazed that they were mine.
Sam gets a kiss good-night every night. (He was warned that he'd need to put up with extra affection when his brother left, and is a good sport about it.) Sometimes I ask him, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" To which he answers, "Mom, you never let me forget!!"
The way I see it, if they never forget that I love them, I've done something right.
Fair Winds: (By Sharon Flood Kasenberg-March 2008)
Sometimes I miss the person
that you were yesterday -
who wanted my attention
and pestered me to play.
Your childhood needs were simple -
at least as I recall;
I gave you what you needed
when you were very small.
These days it's not so easy
to know what you require -
to anticipate your wants
or know your heart's desire.
Whoever you're becoming
I hope you'll always know -
I'll love you forever
no matter how you grow.
The tree grows as the twig's bent
and buffeted by gales;
a sailboat glides on water
when a fair wind prevails.
How will you be affected
when billows gain in force?
Will you bend, but never snap
and keep your ship on course?
Storms all must surely weather -
have I prepared you well
to survive the elements
and fearfulness to quell?
Perhaps I'm no example -
my exploits have been tame -
to stay in calmer waters
has always been my aim.
I'd shelter you forever
to keep you from harm's way -
but to ensure your freedom
I risk the chance you'll stray.
No matter how you're tempted
I hope you never doubt -
both heart and door stay open -
I'd never lock you out.
I pray that winds of fortune
and strong tides bear you home
to bask in my affection
however far you roam.
May you sail in fair breezes
whenever we're apart -
and let them blow you homeward
to the harbour of my heart.
Wonderful
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