Perspective - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg

I think most of us go through those reflective periods in our lives where we spend some time reviewing the past.  Sometimes those backward glances provide incentive to make the most of today, and propel us into a more vibrant future.  I had a strange experience a few months ago, when someone I used to know suddenly started to intrude on my thoughts in a somewhat uncomfortable way.  I can't say I appreciated it much, but the digging it prompted me to do into the experiences of my youth was enlightening.

There are times when I look back on my younger self and shudder at my past stupidity, but this wasn't one of those experiences.  Instead I  learned that I was actually better in those days than I gave myself credit for.  I was stronger, smarter and more self aware than I believed at the time.

It's interesting that these revelations all came to light smack-dab in the middle of a personal mid-life crisis.  I was at a cross-road, wondering which direction to move in and what to do next. I was doubting my ability to make a positive contribution to the world when my detour down memory lane made me realize how skewed my vision was in those long ago days. I suddenly recognized the fact that the younger me had been gazing at myself in some distorted fun house mirror, and that I was once again staring into a warped looking-glass.

"For now we see through a glass darkly; but then we see face to face: now I know in part: but then I shall know even as I am known."  (1 Corr. 13:12)

I always liked that scriptural passage, and now finally I'm beginning to understand it.  We all get hung up on the image we see in what I'll call "the social mirror".  We see ourselves the way we think the world brands us - "middle-aged housewife, past her prime" - in my case. When  I looked back on my younger self I saw more than I expected to see. So could it be that my vision of myself was lacking some clarity NOW?  It's pretty easy to get hung up on the minute details and miss the broader picture....

I think this poem explains the importance of perspective fairly well.

Perspective  - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg  (July'06)

What used to be is finished now
and cannot be recaptured -
would I return there if I could
and find myself enraptured?
My mind and heart have edited
the memories of my youth;
somewhere between what I recall
and what you would tell, lies truth.
The "now" a portrait by Seurat
viewed too closely to make sense -
we can't put into perspective
what is seen in present tense.
Too intent on just one detail,
one small solitary dot -
that separated from the whole
doesn't really mean a lot.
Only in the distant future
might we clearly see the past
when the dots all meld together
in coherence at long last.
Both art and life in broader view
invite interpretation
that changes as our lives progress
through every incarnation.
I've no desire to see ahead
and for the past no yearning.
Today's the day I have - to live
the lessons I am learning.