Confession: I Don't Like Everybody!

Okay - I know it's controversial, but I had to say it. I don't like everybody, and furthermore I'm actually okay with admitting that truth. And why not be? As I recall, the commandment given was that we "Love one another" - the word "like" didn't come into it at all.

Many years ago when I did my stint as a "Mormon" missionary I encountered a little girl who was reprimanded by her mother for saying she disliked another child. She responded with some words that have always stayed with me - words that seemed full of profound child-like wisdom -

"I love her in God's own way, Mama - I just don't like her one bit!"

Oh come on! We ALL know people we feel that way about. We all have neighbors and co-workers and maybe even family members that we just plain don't enjoy being around. We wish no ill upon these people, and for the most part we genuinely care about their well-being. Often, as odd as it may sound, we do love these people. We would help them in any way we could if they needed help, but that doesn't change the fact that being around them drives us a little crazy.

Human relationships are complicated to begin with, and we make them more so by putting unrealistic expectations on the people around us. We expect them to be "nice" - to be thoughtful and to not hurt our feelings. Jesus taught us to treat others as we wish to be treated, and so we assume that others will try to follow that admonition too. (We, of course, think that we behave well far more often than we actually do.) Add to that the fact that many never learned that scripture - (or they heard it once and promptly forgot it or wrote it off as "Christian mumbo-jumbo" that is irrelevant today), and we begin to see the problem with that assumption.

We also put impossible expectations on ourselves. We wonder why on earth we can't be like Will Rogers, who was lucky enough to be able to report "I never met a man I didn't like". (Really Will? I've met plenty of men - and women too - who were not likable in the least!) Sadly, I'm also aware that there are people out there who met me at inopportune moments or under circumstances that made me appear pretty impossible to like. Sometimes, odd as it seems (to me, at least!), I've managed to hurt/annoy/offend someone enough that they "unfriended me" in every sense of the word.

Each individual born on this earth has a unique personality, and some of those personalities rub us the wrong way. We need to try to remember that everyone out there was shaped by experiences and challenges we aren't aware of, and be forgiving when we encounter a person who isn't at their best. We are all hurt/annoyed/offended by different things, and yet we somehow still seem challenged by the concept that we should be consistently thoughtful and take the feelings of others into account.

We also need to accept the fact that some people will simply always be too dissimilar from us, and we might never learn to genuinely like them - which is okay as long as we can still be kind and care for them in "God's own way".

It is okay to love someone best from a distance, as long as we are continually working at being more tolerant toward them when we inevitably brush shoulders. If we are REALLY  honest with ourselves, the thing we often dislike most about these people is that they bring out the worst in US....just something to think about as you read (and relate to) my latest poetic effort.

I Like You Not - by Sharon Flood Kasenberg - Feb. 13, 2013

 In honesty, I like you not,
although I love you quite a lot,
so trust me when I say I care -
I love you when you're over there.
Just don't come closer, for I fear
I do not like you when you're here.
I do not like the things you say,
your thoughtless words drive me away,
your actions put me in a snit -
and yet I love you quite a bit.
I've no ill-will, I wish you well -
you prosper and I think that's swell.
Were you in need, I'd help you out,
of that I hope you have no doubt.
But though I wish you far away
you must believe me when I say
I love you, yes I do, my dear -
and love you best when you aren't near!