Dreams:
In the nocturnal realm of dreams
nothing is ever as it seems -
I have no wings, but somehow fly
and never think to question why.
In dreams I'm not afraid to drive,
but at no point do I arrive.
The dream me freezes when I'm tense,
when past and present make no sense -
how can I be adult and child?
I'm turned to stone while thoughts run wild.
But on occasion, with delight
I can awake with fresh insight
when deep in my subconscious mind
a gem of truth is left behind
and words I'd otherwise not hear
in slumber were so very clear.
Sharon Flood Kasenberg, December '06
Sigmund Freud believed that dreams reflected unfulfilled and repressed longings. Carl Jung felt that dreams more accurately reflect our wakeful hours, and represent our brains' attempts to work through the issues and problems we grapple with day to day. More recent researchers believe that our dreams are made up of random flashes of visual (and often subconscious) memory that our waking minds try to make sense of by building a story around.
My theories about dreams are a combination of all of the above. I've always been fascinated by the subject - I look forward to dreaming each night because my nocturnal visions are so fascinating - sometimes terrifying, but usually enlightening. Each morning as I wake up I try to remember what I dreamed the night before. Like Jung, I believe that my dreams have a lot to tell me.
My brain, like many others, plays its fair share of reruns on the big screen of the slumber land cinema. My repertoire includes the standard fare of "bad dream" themes - being naked, being chased, endlessly falling into an abyss, and writing exams that I'm not prepared for. These common dream themes have broadly accepted interpretations. Nakedness symbolizes a desire to hide something or feelings of vulnerability. Falling represents feeling out of control in the face of insecurities and possible failure. Being chased means we're likely running away from a problem, and those exam dreams? When we have those we're probably feeling pressured, scrutinized or challenged by problems we may have neglected. On the other hand, dreams of flying usually signify that you're feeling "in control" of your life and are seeing things from a newer, broader perspective.
In addition to those dreams, I've had many dreams about being back in high school or even elementary school. In the high school dreams I'm often standing at my locker trying to remember my combination, which is pretty odd because though I've long since lost the lock I can still remember that the magic numbers were 13 - 42 - 17. When I go back to my public school the dreams tend to rapidly become lucid dreams that I gain control over. One minute I'm at my desk being yelled at by my least favorite teacher, and the next I begin to realize that my desk feels awfully small and hey - wait a minute - you can't yell at me anymore because I'm all grown up and in fact my KIDS are grown up too! (That's usually when I wake up feeling oddly elated at the prospect of having to be a responsible adult.)
I think that a lot of our dreams reflect our desire to get "unstuck" - to break free of the fears and insecurities that bog us down.
Stuck:
I am wandering in circles
through a landscape cold and bleak -
I am feeling quite abandoned
and my courage has grown weak -
there's something I'm in search of,
but I'm not sure where to seek
and I need someone to help me
but it seems that I can't speak.
I am stuck here in this nighmare
in this freeze frame of the mind
delving into my subconscious
fearful of what I may find.
Everything seems menacing,
though nothing's well defined -
won't someone help me wake up
so I'll leave this dream behind?
Here I am, stuck again
in a nightmare.
Now I'm standing at my locker
combination lock in hand -
what I'm doing back in high school
I can never understand -
but when told to find the numbers
brain refuses the command,
and the fires of frustration
have been dangerously fanned.
I think this can't get any worse,
but a crowd has gathered near -
they're taunting me and pointing
and the reason becomes clear.
In the hallway of my high school
I stand naked and they jeer -
I'm exposed before the masses,
some just laugh and others leer.
Wake me up, I am stuck
in a nightmare.
There is someone close behind me,
he's a hunter in pursuit -
a quick glance gives confirmation
he's a huge and fearsome brute.
I don't know why he chases me,
explanations don't exist -
and though I try to elude him
he'll relentlessly persist.
I can feel my limbs grow leaden
'til I barely move at all,
then I'm tripping in slow motion -
endlessly I fall and fall.
As I spiral into blackness
sound distorts and time suspends -
conscious thought recalls a rumour
about how such dreams can end.
So I shake as I wake
from a nightmare.
Sharon Flood Kasenberg, April '07
In some of my dreams the message is clearly spelled out within the dream itself. My college room-mate died several years ago, and she often shows up in my dreams - especially when I'm feeling stressed. The dreams are all different, but similar. I'm back in our old apartment and really happy to see her there. But things have changed - sometimes she's living there with her husband and I know I don't belong there. Sometimes she's in the process of moving out, or moving another room-mate in. Sometimes she comes right out and tells me that my life has moved on and I need to stop revisiting the past. Regardless of how these dreams unfold I wake up feeling conflicted - happy that I "saw" her and full of bittersweet emotions about my past - but I always have a strong conviction that I'm where I'm supposed to be and need to keep moving forward.
Another thing I often dream about is finding secret rooms in the houses I've lived in. One of my sisters is an avid dream interpreter, and she says that she thinks these dreams represent untapped potential in our lives, and our ability to pleasantly surprise ourselves with unexpected successes. I love having those dreams and exploring what every new room has to show me!
Dreams are the images that we see in sleep that help us make sense of our past and present lives. However, "dreams" is a word also used as a synonym for aspirations and hopes. Like the flyer in the dream world, we can use our nightly journeys into the unexplored parts of our mind to give us a broader perspective - to define those fears and insecurities that keep us rooted in the land of Stalledandstuck. (And why would we want to stay there when life is so full of unexplored delights?)
I believe we dream at night so that we can continue to dream by day - to expand horizons - to aspire, to hope; to "fly".
Dream on.
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