Sunday is Valentine's Day, and florists everywhere will be swamped with orders for red roses. Don't get me wrong - I think roses are pretty, and red is my favorite colour. It's just that red roses are somewhat trite. Men propose with red roses, they buy red roses for anniversaries and birthdays and graduations and...
That's okay - after all red roses symbolize love and enduring passion, so they have multiple expressive applications. However, there are other colours of roses out there - as well as a myriad of other flowers in the world, and they all have different meanings.
An avid cross stitcher in my youth, I once made a sampler that incorporated Victorian meanings of various flowers, and the subject has interested me since. While researching this subject pre-post, I found this lovely little verse (not my own) which describes the Victorian fascination with floral symbolism.
There is a language little known
Lovers claim it as their own.
Its symbols smile upon the land,
Wrought by nature's wonderous hand;
And in their silent beauty speak
Of life and joy to those who seek
For Love Divine and sunny hours
In the language of the flowers.
- The Language of Flowers, London, 1875
I wrote my own poem about this complex floral code a few years ago. (I've included a "key" at the end of this post that shows what each of the italicized flowers signified.) As you'll see, choosing the perfect bouquet took a little more planning in the Victorian era.
Flowery Speeches:
First came the daisies
that spoke of affection,
then a few pansies
showed thoughtful reflection.
snowdrops and bluebells
then came bound together
in hopes I'd be constant
through fair and foul weather.
Tulips soon followed,
his feelings declaring -
and then red roses,
for he was quite daring.
"Clover!" I pleaded,
"I'm modest and meek -
a bit of alyssum
is more what I seek.
White lilacs would help,
for your making me blush!
Red roses already?
Slow down! What's the rush?"
Then came the hyacinths,
he knew, I am sure -
just how much discomfort
I'd had to endure.
I sent back a poppy -
just to console him -
without the right bouquet
his chances would be slim.
While daisies are surely
a good place to start,
'tis violets and primrose
that win a girl's heart.
Sharon Flood Kasenberg, June, 2010
A Rose is not a Rose!
Indeed those Victorian suitors had to think out their floral gifts carefully. This secret "language of flowers" proved that you couldn't send just any old rose to get a positive response from the object of your desire. A rose in full bloom meant one thing (mature love) and a rosebud meant another (youthful love). Even giving a gift of rose leaves held a secret message - "you may hope". The colour of the rose(s) sent was especially important. (This was equally true of other flowers too.) The floral colour code for roses was something like this:
- Red symbolized romantic love and enduring passion.
- White represented humility, purity and innocence.
- Yellow meant jealousy in Victorian times (but savvy modern florists have declared the new meaning to be friendship.) After all, who'd want to proclaim their jealousy, or belief that their beloved is jealous? Sounds like a really bad idea to me. So good for you, florists, for the clever re-branding.
- Pale Pink symbolized grace and gentleness, while darker hues were used to convey gratitude and appreciation.
- Orange roses represented enthusiasm and desire. (Only a daring suitor would've sent these!)
- Purple represented enchantment and love at first sight.
Beware of the Following!
The (little bit) of research into the subject I've done seems to indicate that yellow flowers didn't tend to come with very complimentary meanings. Yellow lilies meant falsehood and giddiness. Yellow carnations symbolized rejection. Marigolds meant cruelty, grief and jealousy. Yellow chrysanthemums represented slighted love, and as with roses, a yellow hyacinth signified jealousy. And while we now see daffodils as cheerful spring flowers, they used to represent egotism, vanity and lies.
Receiving a striped carnation from your lover was never a good sign, as it meant "I can't be with you." (Another woman? His parents don't approve? Or did he merely mean he wasn't going to show up for tonight's planned social event? Those Victorian ladies would have to do a bit of sleuthing to figure out exactly what message was intended when that flower was given at that particular time.)
A posy of orange lilies was pretty insulting - they represented hate, disdain and pride. A bouquet of burdock meant he found you "inopportune" or boring, while a gift of hydrangeas meant he was indifferent, or found you cold or vain. Getting petunias wasn't a good thing either - they signified resentment. As for stink weed, I found no references to it, but I'm guessing it would send a fairly clear message to the recipient.
Might I Suggest...?
Okay - so it's Valentine's Day (or your anniversary or his/her birthday or - insert floral gift-giving occasion here) and you want to send flowers, but I've convinced you that roses are a bit overdone. What do you do? Here are a few creative suggestions:
Camellias mean steadfastness and excellence. (And they're pretty like roses, but more underused.)
Peonies (which are hard to kill in gardens around here, and thus easily and cheaply obtained in season) symbolize healing, a happy life and a happy marriage.
Tulips tend to mean the same things as the corresponding colour of roses these days - except that pinks represent happiness and confidence, and purple tulips mean you see her/him as "your queen/king."
Freesias signify trust.
Irises represent faith, wisdom, value and friendship.
Go to a garden store and pick up some arbutus as a romantic gesture (it means, "I love only thee"), or a clematis, which shows you admire his/her creativity and liveliness. Plant some geraniums together to represent the hardships you've surpassed - or some ferns or purple lilacs as a precautionary measure - both signify protection.
I know if you're thinking of Valentine's Day arrangements a lot of these suggestions may not be readily available, and if you live in a cold climate you can't get out and do any planting today. Still, you can begin planning a garden that holds special significance for both of you. (A lot of trees, herbs and even edibles have symbolic meanings too.) Study the language of flowers and decide what plants you might like to put on your windowsill or plant in the spring.
Feeling really creative? Skip the flowers and give a bouquet of bamboo (strength and loyalty), cat tails (peace and prosperity) and moss (maternal love and charity).
Or forget about bouquets of any kind, and just share some nice garlicky spaghetti together. Garlic represents courage and strength - two qualities that are needed in abundance in any lasting relationship.
(I wonder what the cocoa bean represents? Now I crave chocolate.) Forget the flowers altogether and buy your significant other some Lindor.
Happy Valentine's Day!
P. S - Here's the "key" to my poem.
Daisies - innocence, purity; affection
Pansies - thoughtfulness; reflection
Snowdrops - hope
Bluebells - constancy
Tulips - declared love
Red Roses - enduring or passionate love
Clover - "Think of me"
Alyssum - worth beyond beauty
Lilacs (white) - modesty; youthful innocence
Purple Hyacinths - "I'm sorry"; "Please forgive me"
Poppies (white) - consolation (Red or orange poppies represent peace, eternal sleep and remembrance)
Violets - faithfulness
Primrose - Lasting love, "I can't live without you."
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